Good morning and Welcome! dear friends to my Scales of Ma’at daily reading for 12-Nov-2015: my Heart card today is the 8 of Cups (again!) and the Feather of Truth today is the 7 of Wands. (Today’s deck is *The Lilith Bible Tarot* by Lorelei Douglas. Lorelei also gave us *The Golden Age of Hollywood Tarot*, so if you know that deck you already have a grasp on her style of art & presentation. Personally, I love it! Lorelei is simply REALLY clear about what she wants a card to be, and that is immensely helpful to the reader who doesn’t have the vaguest idea what some abstract artist’s splashes of color are supposed to mean. It’s a “Bible story,” but it IS different, as you will have guessed from the title. Quick teaser – if you don’t know, Lilith was the 1st wife of Adam, Eve was the 2nd. [Out of curiosity, does anyone else picture Lilith as a brunette and Eve as a blonde?] Now, for the rest, either go spend the day at your local metaphysical bookstore or open Lorelei’s deck. I LIKE it!) I’m getting very familiar with a card to which normally I would pay little attention. The 8 of Cups, (Crowley’s) Indolence again. Sigh, OK, here are the BARE bones, I’m not going to wax deep and profound about him today. 8 lives in Hod on the Tree of Life, sailing in on Water. In astrology he’s Saturn in the 1st decan of Pisces, and here is the key line from his character summation: “The Eight of Cups has driven the debauch of the Seven to absolute excess, the delusions have lost all attraction and all that's left is frustration. The sequence of the numbers has reached Hod, calling for structure and logic, but the emotional waters of Briah cannot be happy with this call and remain in dumb resignation.” (Raven) That describes the 8 of Cups down to a “T”. His Drive is Temporary success whereas his Light is transformation; thus one is too small & the other overly grand. But the idea is, basically, “Zeus! I’m fatigued unto death with these questions & the difficulties & stupidities & incapable spirits & minds; I WASH MY HANDS OF IT!” I do this with a deliberate will to unchain myself from the insolvabilities of the past and seek their “magical” resolution by simply turning to the future and marching onward. “I just simply can’t fuckin’ stay here!” is the message. Today he has an odd Feather of Truth to weigh himself against, the 7 of Wands (Crowley’s “Valour.”) Quick quick quick; in Netzach on the Tree, by fire; astrology, Mars in 3rd decan of Leo, Drive is courage and Initiation. The illustration is wonderful; it is the story of Rizpah, a concubine of Saul in the Old Testament. Pick up a Bible and read it if it interests you. The point of it is that even when you have lost it all, it is Right to defend what you have left, no matter how small, no matter how “miserable” (in the true sense of the word, “worth nothing.”) So, what do I have to defend that seems “worth nothing” after my supposed despoliation but is actually worth having? I can only think of one, immediate thing; my Faith that what I believe is right. I will defend THAT unto Death, I know I will, there is simply no question in it. And Part of what I believe is X the Wheel, it CHANGES, folks, by all the demons of Ammit’s abode, it changes! These last two decades have been nothing BUT change, fucking PROFOUND change, in my life. The two decades before that was living out the ultimate uselessness of what I HAD learned until then, and my first two decades were spent either having all my perceptions fucked with and fucked up or doing it myself. While my body was growing. While I was forming my intellect. While I “should have been” “printed” with the templates for an enlightened man, instead I got turned loose with an unreadable handbook in an unknown language. It was a massive clusterfuck, I was pissed as hell, and I demanded that either management apologize personally to me or I get a FULL refund. Neither happened. I was told to get my ass on down the road and out of the way, I was blocking traffic. I didn’t want to live out my life in TOTAL ignorance, so I compromised with myself, “I’ll get out of the way FOR NOW, but I’ll come back, and I’ll want answers, and they had BETTER be here.” That’s me, in that red dress on that mountain, defending what I have left. 63 years has taken most of it from me; the youth, the energy, the drive, all of MY “5 sons” who were killed because an unjust (or uncaring) cosmos didn’t think I was worth what I did. I vowed the cosmos was wrong, because I still had and have one thing, my WILL. I can conquer stars. You know, there is SO much more you learn about yourself as you age. You learn how powerful you are, in this case. And why, for the most part, you were ALL wrong ALL those years about what Power really is, about how you use it and how you don’t, and HOW TO STEP BACK. That last one is hard, hard, HARD to learn, but when it saves your life a couple of times, you learn. My problem was NEVER “bein’ a coward an’ steppin’ down,” my problem was “bein’ a fool an’ steppin’ up.” Idiot characterizations, I know. But true. You see, I can look back now and say, “This is MINE. I am the Lord and Lady of that which I survey. This is my kingdom, small though it may be, and I defend it unto and beyond death.” I AM that 7 of Wands, just as I am also the 8 of Cups always looking for the 9. The difference between the 8 of Cups and the Seven of Wands is what gave birth to the Mark card of today, and today, I welcome Life and I embrace Opportunity.