Thursday, January 21, 2016

Good morning and Welcome! to a “modified” Scales of Ma’at daily reading for 22Jan2016: representing my Heart is the card Confession, and the Feather of Truth is showing as Defiance. Okay, “. . .‘splain, Lucy!” Today I am using for the first time the *Symbolon* deck, by Peter Orban, Ingrid Zinnel & Thea Weller. What is a symbolon? Symbolon is the Greek word that Aristophanes used. Although the definition is questionable, his meaning at the time was two halves of a whole, neither one being complete until they are reunited. While it is a 78-card “Tarot,” it isn’t. It is called, by its authors, “a game of remembrance.” (It is also highly and deeply astrological in content and purpose.) What it is designed to do is to invoke things, i.e. secrets or things you don’t wish to face, that you have cached in your subconscious & unconscious, to bring them to the Light so that you can wrestle them down PUBLICLY (this is apparently important to their system), and come to a healing resolution.  Okay, this is sounding very Jungian psychotherapeutic psychobabble to me, not that I haven’t used it profitably before! but I’m not sure how this is going to work as a “Tarot-like device.” We shall see. So, since I couldn’t really ask for the theoretical abstracts of my Heart & the Feather of Truth, I asked from what meditation I would profit today and what healing work could be done today upon any damage I may still carry. So, 1) the damage I’m “hiding,” and 2) the Truth within it to set me free. I thought that that was as close as I could get this morning to melding the two systems together. I was STUNNED by the response. My 1st card is Confession. Astrologically, it is both Jupiter in Sagittarius and Saturn in Capricorn.  So, this is what I’ve hidden, is it? What I’ve skritched around in the dirt in an abandoned cemetery in order to bury it in the moldy ground, all the while the spittle dribbling from my lips? Well, not really, I’ve never REALLY hidden it, but it IS damnedly appropriate! Let’s see, let’s hazard a guess and assume this card represents my loss of faith in christianity due to being one of the countless victims of priestly, or “religious,” abuse during my early years. I never really buried this, actually, but I have NEVER advertised the fact either, nor sought to profit from it by suing either an individual or an organization. And frankly, as far as I’m concerned, this matter was settled a long time ago, to my satisfaction, in my head. And I DON’T think I’m carrying around some poisonous seed of resentment that needs to be aired out about it, I have reached equilibrium with that part of my life. Nevertheless, the card asks me to dredge it up and look at it yet again, and to reason out why it may still be a blockage for me or a hindrance to my progress on the Path. In order to keep faith with the process, I’ll do it, but I think it rather rudimentary and pointless; been there, done that. What could possibly be more interesting is the 2nd card, Defiance. Astrologically, this is Cancer & the Moon and Aries & Mars; natural pair-ups but really dynamite packed together, i.e. defiance with a capital D. Which was, I suppose to a certain extent, my reaction at the time to being handled and sodomized. Naturally, I was NOT an adult and couldn’t mount a successful defense, but I DO remember being very defiant about it; but ah! There’s a secret to that. Part of my “guilt” in that particularly vile setup was that I wondered if I had somehow “attracted it” or caused it myself. I was just becoming aware of the homosexual side of my nature, of equal & sometimes surpassing strength to my heterosexual side. Was feeling “maybe gay” and being curious about other guys directly responsible for my being violated? I didn’t know, I wasn’t sure . . . but by god, I was MAD and yes, defiant, and exerted myself to the point that I wrested some control back from the priest(s) involved and stopped their predations upon me. So that WAS my Truth at the time, and looking back, I can’t say I regret anything about the way that decision formed in my head and was implemented in order to stop a hateful situation from continuing. Looking at these two cards now, “in the light of day” (decades & light years later,) simply affirms my own Will, fledgling thought it was at the time. They recall a piece of shame which I carried, wrongly, for quite a few years and which changed forever my relationship with the divine. For that last bit, however, I can only be grateful, as my spiritual life has blossomed enormously over the years due to my need to jettison christianity and seek out true belief and divinity. I’ve ended up in a rather comfortable place, spiritual-beliefs-speaking, one that happens to dovetail quite elegantly & nicely with Tarot and my need to continue the Journey. So, there we have it – the Symbolon draw for today. My conclusion is that these will by Dynamite! “plumper” cards, as in when I draw an I-Ching card/hexagram to supplement a short draw, or cast a rune with the card reading. I let my Intuition guide it, and this Symbolon deck can fit the “supplement” role quite accurately and inspirationally, I think. I cannot see myself using the deck alone to draw a reading for anyone about anything – it has too much of a “let’s swim in the bad vibes of the past in order to learn” negative teaching ethic to it for me. The cards themselves are beautiful, it should be noted. LOL, “damned by faint praise,” eh? Well, let’s get on with it, shall we? I wish for ALL of us to enjoy the many and varied blessings of the Cosmos today!    

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