Good morning and Welcome! As I was drawing the Scales of Ma’at this morning, I was suddenly moved to just freewheel it and ramble today, and not to try and stick with the Scales of Ma’at format, so that is what I am going to do. Today’s cards are the Queen of Cups and the 8 of Swords, and the deck is, of course, the *Tarot of the Holy Light* by Christine Payne-Towler and Michael Dowers. As we all endlessly & tiresomely know, Cups are NOT my suit, although there has certainly been a lot of action on that front lately, but not of the Romeo & Juliet variety; rather, it has been of the “Learn to love ALL the Munchkins, Dorothy!” variety. And I am being hammered with it. I don’t really understand the plethora of frankly sensual, large, big-bare-breasted spouting-streams-of-milk women gracing my Tarot landscape lately; I have never been a boob man (legs, baby, legs.) Nevertheless, not totally grokking them doesn’t negate their presence or diminish their importance, does it? No, of course not; just like fully-grown women do in real life, they move in and take over. And generally that is to the benefit of all, because it is an innate skill of the feminine gender to organize a family unit. That is NOT a sexist statement; it is simply true. The Queen is Cancer (astrologically) and is here depicted as Melusine, a French/European “personification of the intelligence of sacred springs and rivers.” (BCB) Melusine is also the bearer and the victim of a curse, which in essence has as its moral center “don’t interfere with processes you don’t understand (i.e., intuition) but give them some private space and they will reward you abundantly.” (A mélange of Christine and me.) In a Scales reading, this would be my Heart today, and yes, it still does feel that way, BUT . . . I feel an element of “longing,” as if this is where my Heart is WANTING to go but hasn’t reached; perfectly possible in a reading, I know, but this feels larger. This feels as if an ocean of emotion is about to be revealed to me, and all my recent prep work is only a drop in the bucket to the calm I will need to summon in order to give brave face to that! “Calm down, dude, it’s okay; it’s just a lot of emotion, that’s all.” Ha! Actually, I feel the Queen isn’t so much the quantity of emotion on tap but the quality and the control of it; because make no mistake, in my cosmic view, emotion is critically necessary and wonderful but MUST be controlled. Others can run around like panicked and hysterical Queens of Hearts, but I believe a mastery is required if you are to get a handle on its utility at all. Her presence in my life right now, however, is undeniable; I have just received a second student, and from almost all of my friends I am receiving a LOT of positive emotional support at the moment. It must be mentioned that this is all being balanced out by the not-smooth departure of one of my closest friends, who has decided by “thought, word & deed” that he can’t continue in our friendship. It pains me, but So Be It. “So let it be written; So let it be done.”
It especially pains me because he insists on leaving with his ignorance intact; he WILL NOT climb out of his ego. It is a shocking lesson for me, to see this well-educated and highly-cultured being turn his back on our friendship out of fear, but that is his choice, and I must accept it. It is sad. When I look at the 8 of Swords I see an old warrior retired to the countryside, “swords beaten into ploughshares” kind of situation, where in the eternal diurnal rhythm of Life he has planted his sword(s) and let them serve as a trellis for the harmonious harvest of Peace. Now, that ISN’T QUITE what the card actually symbolizes, but that’s okay; today it symbolizes what I WANT IT TO SYMBOLIZE, a fact that is ALWAYS TRUE for the Tarot! Read as many books as you like, belong to as many arcane clubs and societies as will have you, buy every know deck, trinket and accoutrement known to be related to the field, and the cards are STILL always going to mean EXACTLY what you put into them. If you want to let someone else fill up your psychic diary with their scribblings, that’s sad, but go ahead. Yes, we need guidelines and “how-to” manuals; however, they are ALL provided as SPRINGBOARDS for your own thought! Think! Feel! Act! Exist! Make the cards, personal, for fuck’s sake. This card is normally presented as a test; right side up, you’ve passed; reversed, you’ve failed. Go die . . . miserably. What this card is astrologically is far more telling to me personally; it is Saturn in Gemini; with an exaltation of Mercury in Virgo. My father is a Gemini, and he is 84 years old . . . Saturn. He was a violent, driven man of a military character in a like profession, and now he is THIS card, to me. He has become a radically different being, almost a “gentleman farmer” type in his retired widowhood who still leads as active and full a life as he can. He succeeded the test, if we want to use that meaning, that symbolism, and now he is actually an incarnation of that bitter, hard-fought and hard-won success, the 8 of Swords. I love my father, very much; that wasn’t always true. Is by the Grace of his growth on the Path, all unbeknownst to him! that I love him deeply now. Interesting reflections today, hmmm. I feel a “pacific” day coming on, despite a busy social calendar this week. Good, I’ll take a LOT of downtime today, and contemplate this image of “I’m becoming my father, and it isn’t nearly as bad as I had feared. I can work with this.” I ask the Cosmos to give us ALL some reflective time today, to look where we will. Be Well!