Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Good morning and Welcome! to the Scales of Ma’at for 23Jun2016: today my Heart is in the 9 of Wands and the Feather of Truth has traveled to exalt VI the Lovers. In a 3rd draw, as the 1st two cards were fine but lacked transportation, I drew a “vehicle card” of the Princess of Pentacles. (Today’s deck is *Tarot Apokalypsis* by Erik C. Dunne & Kim Huggens. It is even more spectacular, if that is possible, than their previous work, *Tarot Illuminati*. If I start the praises now, I’ll never finish. Go buy a deck – you won’t regret it.) I’m feeling very “solid” and “Tarotish” today, for no apparently good reason. Perhaps it is because I am becoming more accepting of the progression of Life as I see it playing out in others and draw parallels with myself. I’ve been brought face to face with my authoritarianism recently, my skewed love view, my secret intolerances, my sexual biases, and my own ignorance of all the facets of my existence. It’s quite astonishing, actually; I’ve been trepidatious and fearless, nervous and assured, timid and courageous, and the only reason I haven’t collapsed like a cheap Montgolfier is that I’ve WANTED to be on the Path, on my Journey for so terribly long, and now I am, and I thank Tarot for accompanying me and making my insights possible in a way in which I can understand. Fifty-four years of reading the cards has helped. I’m 64 now, and with a decent chance I have another 20 years before me – but the last 20 have flown SO fast that I am not fooled. My transition is in the pipes; I just want to be ready. So, onward – and today onward means finding my Heart, drama-stricken little queen that he is, hanging out with the ever-so-dramatic 9 of Wands. The usual catchword for this card is “Stress,” (Crowley calls this card Strength.) If we’re going to boil it down like that, I like Kim’s phrase, “perseverance in difficulties,” much clearer, don’t you think? The 9 of Wands sits in Yesod in the Tree of Life, arriving by Fire. In astrology it is the Moon in Sagittarius. “. . . Nine, the number that reflects on itself, entering the fields of Yesod - imagination and reflection back in the middle of the Tree of Life. Thus the Nine of Wands remembers its own qualities, showing the full powers of the fiery element rising again. It shows strength, determination and discipline, preparing itself for the final step to completion.” (Raven) Thus, perseverance. The card is all about spiritual truths and realization. We can combine the conscious with the unconscious, yielding great success but with strife and energy, victory preceded by the apprehension and fear which is natural and normal during times of great trial & proof. If my Heart is hanging out here, it is acknowledging a Truth I am currently hiding from myself – that my new venture is one of stress & challenge and the question of success or failure, and I have the full range of human emotion over that question. Well, I hope so! And I don’t seem to be hiding it any longer. Good. 
Turning to look for the Feather of Truth, I see it witness the Choice being made in VI the Lovers. I can grok it, I really can. It ALL ties together here in the Truth for today about one field of my current situation – my Emotional health and the role played therein by my physical desires. Happily married, I still desire the intimate company of a male presence in my life, or to put it crudely, a ménage à trois but without all of the sordid implications. My wife and I live an almost monastic existence, not in the sense of privation, but in the sense of “communal relationship.” We have a deep friendship; we have everything, actually, and by mutual agreement, keep it chaste, to a point. She is not consumed by physical desire, and mine is focused on my own sex, so there is an agreement in place for augmentation, to phrase it as politely as I can! The Feather of Truth today has thrown down the gauntlet, however, and asked me to re-consider the Truth YET again, that a choice MUST be made, where do I wish to place my allegiance, on the corporeal path or the spiritual one? I made that decision years ago, of course, but I WILL insist on trying to blend in my physical needs/pleasures, won’t I? I’m stubborn that way. I keep telling myself I’ve made the decision already, but the card is telling me “Look again; you’d better check how the seams are holding up on your construction there, pal.” Alright, I will, and thank you, subconscious shit-stirrer though you may be . . . . And finally, 
feeling the need for transportation between, around, through and out from my two fortune cookies today I have drawn the Princess of Pentacles. My, my, talk about a heavily charged card! She is the true beginning and end of the Tarot, and I remark today on Erik’s card the advanced state of pregnancy of our Princess. I’m reading that as the voyage is just commencing – and I understand that to be MY new voyage, my new project and focus in life. I shall read the card as an engine on “go” – the project, & my life! is afoot, Watson! I’m feeling every bit of my adult, empowered state today and recently, and I like it. I shall use this time of calm purpose to advance. I so Will it. “Knowing that conscious decisions and personal memory are much too small a place to live, every human being streams at night into the loving nowhere, or during the day, in some absorbing work.” (Rumi) Today I ask the Cosmos to give us ALL a serene and balanced look into our decisions at this time. Be Well!  


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