Saturday, June 4, 2016

Good morning and Welcome! to the Scales of Ma’at for 05Jun2016: the Ace of Cups for my Heart, the 2 of Cups for the Feather of Truth, and in a paroxysm of « What the fuck am I gonna do with the 1 & 2 of Cups? » I drew a 3rd, clarification card & received XII, the Hanged Man. (Today’s deck is *Llewellyn's Classic Tarot* by Barbara Moore & Eugene Smith. This is in my pile of “Do I really want this deck?” and I believe the answer is no. The card that convinces me is the 2 of Cups – what a lack of inspiration! “Hello, welcome to the love affair between my identical twin sister and me – Incest is Best!” I am ashamed to look at that card and think that in any way it represents the art of what I do. This will be a deck that, unless spoken for by someone who sees it here and wants it, a deck to break up and send out individually in cards, letters, humorous add-ins. I’m NOT a fan of representing the traditional misconceptions about Tarot in a “clear, concise style.”) My bejeweled and dazzling Heart has taken a ringside seat at the spectacle at the Court of Cups, the rising of the Ace and the abundance therein. More and more lately I have been feeling “full of love” in an emotional, personal sense. Not the sense of “Oh isn’t the world wonderful?? I LOVE people!” No, Hades forfend! This is most definitely a thawing of MY heart towards the non-sexual modalities of love and more specifically, homosexual love, or the love one man can have for another without the physical side of love making an appearance. I have had, if not exactly revelations, re-awakenings of the fact that I am capable of loving to the uttermost of my being without my phallus being involved. I believe the men on the receiving end are relieved, as well. Grin. There is something strangely liberating in loving someone to the depths of your being and not being bound in physical need to them; it frees up the heart and the soul to love that final last inch without fear of deep, personal injury. One may be injured, yes, but it isn’t the type of wound which is poisoned and self-spreading. One can heal. 
IF the card is to be believed, it speaks of my subconscious being aware of this birth, this blossoming in my emotional make-up and I am only slightly reticent about what needs it may have in the future to which I shall be subject. My Heart seems to be in league with the Feather of Truth today, as the Feather hasn’t strayed at all from my Heart’s side and is manifesting in the 2 of Cups. Now here’s a card you can be truly ashamed to lay down in front of a client – look at it, two identical people except for clothes & hair, toasting and holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes and excluding the world in their gaze of adoring incestuous self-love. The poor Feather of Truth wasn’t given a choice, so if she wanted the principle behind the card she had to choose the card. It’s enough to make you want to pick and choose a complete deck from your throwaways – “My Hideous Mistakes Tarot.”  But I DO get the point; the Truth is signaling me that new loves and friendships are being born even new, in light of the heart-Truth that my Love is capable of great, expanded acts and feelings and is capable of being selfless on a larger scale than I had previously thought. Which is good to know, n’est-ce pas ? And why you ask . . .  because in future I can proceed with my loves & my “loving” without fear of my own, “hidden” interior motives. “No, Mark, you aren’t loving this guy and feeling this way because you want to get into his pants. You really do love him, buddy.” That is such a relief; I know it sounds silly, but being a highly-sexed person has immense drawbacks, such as, “What am I DOING here in this relationship? Am I being honest, or do I just want to get laid again?” as well as the fact that one’s vibe of “I’ll screw almost anyone anytime” is highly questionable and even repugnant to some of one’s observers. (Not that you WOULD; but that’s the vibe.) 
A person who simply loves sex is always viewed askance in our world, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is prudery and feeling morally superior. People who feel that way usually want to be bent over a stair bannister against their loud verbal protestations anyway, so you do have to look at the source.       The rather simple truth here is that I AM striking out in new directions, making loving friendships where I feel them without fear of my own dastardliness lurking in the background.  Finally, and perhaps this was a function of what I perceive as the lameness of the deck, I drew a third card as the 2-carded draw seemed insufficient, undone & still lacking. Ah ha! a Major, XII the Hanged Man. Self-sacrifice; serving the greater good; opening the third eye to see the larger reality; this is a great card for the larger “Me” in all of us. Here today, in this mini-spread for me, this is about going above and beyond my “humanity,” to look at the emotional revolution in my life and draw working parallels to Truths that may be witnessed throughout the Cosmos, truths about love and life and the maturing process, the leaving behind of ego-dominated concerns and a concern for the future. I certainly am not focusing on a species-future or a personal future, so my Truth falls somewhere in the middle between the two poles; I would like to think it signifies a positive and growing belief in me that my love of and for others is a beneficial step in the ongoing effort of becoming an enlightened being and in bringing enlightenment to others. At least, I sincerely hope so. I ask the Cosmos today to give us ALL a moment of clarity where we see the meaning and value of our sacrifices. Be Well!   


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