Sunday, July 3, 2016

Good morning and Welcome! to the Scales of Ma’at for 02Jul2016 : today my Heart is off mindlessly admiring the wanna-be in the 4 of Pentacles while the Feather of Truth, thinking more profitably of what qualities to highlight next, has fluttered over to the Ace of Wands, for a lesson in keeping your Wands virile and active.  (Stop it, just stop it.) (Today’s deck is *The Son Tarot* by Christopher Butler. This is a specifically gay male Tarot, and I am ALWAYS wary of anything that claims to represent an icon or avatar of “gayness.”  I’m gay/bi myself, and even though happily married [to a woman] I keep a close eye on how the world is choosing to portray that particular group of people. This deck, which is in my “Does it stay or does it go?” pile, made a b-a-a-d 1st impression with me some time back.  I don’t like the card size & shape [oversized, which is okay, but clumsily so with awkward ratios] and I don’t know what gloss was used but it is SO heavy and SO thick that it makes the cards VERY unsympathetic with each other – you get the impression of a deck of cards that do not like each other and refuse to cooperate. It also makes them a bitch to shuffle and handle and lay out. Someone likes her hairspray and nail gloss just a bit too much, so to speak [There. You were waiting for it, so there it is, a piece of gay bitchery. Now, with that out of the way . . . .] Criticism aside, it is in the modern camp, very new age-y, and with a caveat about picturing someone with whom not every gay man may identify [another glaring fault of this deck is the choice of “models”.] So, depending on how much you hunger to have a gay deck, this is an option; it may be close to a “best gay version out there” status, but  honestly, “baby, you’ve got a long way to go.”) So, what is the 4 of Pentacles about today and what does it want with me? I have always seen this 4 as rather self-obsesses and self-indulgent, even though I know it denotes an inherent progression of Pentacles. The LWB (which is neither) for this deck depicts a man obsessed with personal image and security while another looks enviously on the scene. Well, not being a gym rat myself (yes, I gave it a try, and no, I didn’t sign up for the $8000 program, “We’ll Make You A Muscular Laughingstock!”) I find it hard to identify, although I know with a certainty that this is a MAJOR issue for most gay men. “I’ve GOT to be hot or I won’t get laid or find love.” Oh, “How Do I Misunderstand The Dynamic, Let Me Count The Ways.”  The authors warning is “don’t chase impossible stereotypes. . . Understand your potential and uniqueness.” Um-hmm. “Little Bobby, it doesn’t matter that you are as big as a house and have no phallus, ass, or form to speak of . . . you are unique and have potential!”  Tell that to ANY gay man and you will be lucky to escape unscarred. We KNOW how we are judged, so we reach a point where we either throw the whole beauty pageant out the window, along with any form-fitting PCness, or take a superior stance, “This body? Yes, I wish it could have been more harmonious, PERHAPS, but I’m happy with it and my purpose here doesn’t require that I give a shit about false ideals, standards or judgements. So get down on your knees or get out.” That last bit is optional; use it or not. 
Turning from the general mockery of the hollow-chested weakling on the beach, I . . .  “Behold, mortal!! I, your Feather of Truth, have taken flame and become the Wand of Fire!!” Oh for heaven’s sake. .  “Get down off of that Wand, you silly girl!” Lordy, talk about bombast and pretention! I’m “At Home” in the Wands; they are often the source of my greatest problems and deepest conflicts, but they also take me to the very summit. I’m a Fire kind of guy, anyway; (S=Aries, Moon= Taurus, Ascendant= Virgo) and no doubt you can see the stubborn streak from there. I’m deeply impatient, thus I practice Patience (or rather, the Cosmos MAKES me practice it.) I am highly critical of appearances, thus I am now a model of discretion and tact, “To A Certain Point . . .” let’s not forget the gay factor, shall we?  All of the negative tropes that being homo- or bi-sexual in our society have passed through these portals and I have learned, the hard way, some deeply painful and personal lessons, about myself first of all and then about others. Here, with the Ace of Wands, I enter other territory; the land of the sacred fire and the unseen realities of the gods, and I am Awakened, yet once again. Fulfill the higher destiny, BE your purpose, inspire yourself and conceptualize your own creativeness, then get out there & manifest it! If I see these two cards in any sort of mutual dynamic at all, it is in using the Earth to bank the fires of the Wands, to give them shape & form within my physical constructs of reality and then to put that energy into developing them to their fullest. To drum yet again on the old tambour, I am thinking of my mentoring project, and the advice herein; Get out of yourself, your obsessions with Self, and contribute to the larger Purpose; let that intense single flame of your creativity set fire to the grandiose pile of ideas that you have backed up in your head, like nothing so much as a logjam on a low river. Today I ask the Cosmos to give us ALL enough “flow” to break up any logjams in our lives today. Be Well!    

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