Good morning, weary Voyagers in the Intestines of the Universe! Today is a Hallmark holiday, St. Valentine’s Day. Not being prone to monetized, creepy-eyed corporate sentiment, I don’t particularly value this day. As recently stated, as well, I DON’T LIKE reading for money or sexual obsession; I feel it cheapens Tarot. If you are a reasonably ordinary-looking human being, it is up to YOU to maximize your personality points plus charm, desirability & intelligence. The cards won’t do that for you; and if you are as CGI-butt-ugly as the whoring mother of Sin, “Do you REALLY want to ask me that question? I can’t give you magic, I don’t own it.” Nevertheless, despite my Grinch-like attitude about this manufactured holiday (DeBeers & Hallmark), I was dealt an “Oh Wow!” hand this morning on that front, more-or-less. In terms of “love” and “desire” of course I have ‘druthers’. For example, I would truly love (different than ‘need’) to add a male lover to my existing quite-happy emotional house-in-marriage. My wife & I enjoy a good marriage; she is also aware, as she has been all along, that I am bisexual (if you want a label) and that a man in my life as well would be ideal.
But I don’t dress in pink organza and lace and pine & mope around the house in one scratched and dusty glass stiletto. I know from experience that “things” like this, deeply desired, can only manifest after you have lost your illusions about them. It is when you aren’t looking that you find the desired “thing.” Having droned on like this, I shall now tell you the draw: Sulfur = X the Wheel of Fortune; Mercury = VI the Lovers, and Salt = the King of Cups. Ha! How’s THAT for a Valentine’s Day draw? Bizarre, non ? for someone who isn’t particularly pushing “that” agenda at this time! (And besides, my life is filled with men who love me and whom I love – however, there is no “intimacy” with any of them.) My day seems to be oriented around the Ups & Downs of Emotion, Sentiment, Choice & Comportment. As Sulfur, my active male current today, I have X the Wheel, and I find that inadvertently funny. The logo for my miniscule Tarot business is the X, La Roue de la Fortune (TdeM-style), and that has had little hope of flourishing in the past because I haven’t really wanted to mingle with the vast, questioning public. This is NOT a reflection on ANY other readers, only myself, but when I do the “pubic gig” I can’t shake a feeling of Circus midway and the smell of popcorn, cotton candy, burnt ozone and urine. A sideshow charlatan, if you will; I KNOW it’s not true, but the image is HARD to shake; the image of the scholar at his studies is mine by nature, because amongst my many facets I am indeed a deeply curious and highly educated man. This is MY prejudice and social indoctrination at work, I know that well enough; knowing it isn’t removing it or turning it around 180°, however. But it being the day it is, I am willing to stifle my “hardyharhar” reaction and just look without judgement; and
what is it I see? I “see” a deeply meaningful symbol to me of the “tides of the Universe.” As I know it, grok it, and even give it some ectoplasmic energy from time to time, I do believe we ALL live by its turning. This is where my active, male energy is focusing today; on the randomness of the whole subject of Love and its many-splendored disasters. Um-hmm, okay. Then I remark the Mercury, my female passive current is running with the gift-wrapped vibrator today towards the finishing line of VI the Lovers. Choice, choice, choice . . . oh dear, I don’t know, who should I choose? LOL, OF COURSE at my age I am picky; if I am given the opportunity, this is most likely the last time in my life I will choose to get involved with another man, so it has to be a 99.5% perfect fit. As it is obvious that I don’t undervalue myself (I hear some of you mockingly laughing! I hear you!) I am perfectly aware that if I do get the chance the choice WILL be self-evident; only a very particular person would be able fit the jigsaw puzzle-like outlines of my being. The Energy necessary, or present, to accomplish all of this? Funnily/oddly enough, it is the King of Cups, the King in the deck whom I find the most unsure, the most “I don’t wanna be here” of all the Court cards. He is looking ELSEWHERE, away from the issue, as if he can’t wait to get out of his step-daughter’s agonizing kindergarten Christmas play. He is looking for the EXIT, and not too happy having paid $10 to see this infantile garbage. Nevertheless, he dressed up and showed up, as they say, to do his duty as king of the house of Emotions and Intuition. If he didn’t look so damned grumpy, I could sympathize; I find this king inadvertently comic, and living example, perhaps, of the Peter Principle at work. I feel that way at times about love and relationships of an intimate nature, but the ration of pro/con has changed a lot over the years to the point where I am now actually hopeful that this caprice may arrive in time for me to enjoy it a bit. I do hope so, but I’m not opening up a Christmas savings account, if you know what I mean. So, as usual, “on verra !” I ask the Cosmos to open ALL of our hearts a bit wider than usual today. Be Well, Be Blessed!