Thursday, March 29, 2018

Good Morning and Welcome! to The Fool’s Tarot for 29/03/2018; yes, it is still the same decks, *Egipcios Kier* and *Labyrinth*. I feel rather “obligated” to use these decks since I started this mystery diagnosis with them; the doctor didn’t call yesterday with the full diagnosis, so I believe it will be today. It is pointless to imagine the reason for the delay – I could take that to the Moon either Way, so better not to take the journey at all. “Wait, Mark, just wait; she will call, and you’ll have the full picture at last.” Onward and Upward! (I’m already sick unto BOREDOM about worrying about how bad this cancer may be.) Let’s just get on with it. The draw for today is as follows: A) Guiding Arcanum = XV Passion; B) Male current = 48 Consummation; C) Female current = 55 Contrition (which I still maintain looks nothing like contrition but DOES perfectly render Conqueror/conquered. “Yeah, I’m deeply contrite I rebelled and you beat the shit out of me. Let me go and I won’t do it again.” Titter-titter, sure you 
won’t. XV Passion in other decks is called the Devil, but either way this is about the Material and attachment to it; does it have mastery over you or do you have mastery over it? The card suggests that at the moment one is caught in its snares & coils, Almighty Ra knows I do, right now. The material coils of ill-health and rapidly declining ability to patiently bide my time while answers are sought are adding shriller tones each day to my morning meditations. In my prayers recently, I have asked Atum-Ra to let me know which way it’s going, and if I’m checking out to grant me painlessness. On the other hand, if it isn’t my time to meet Lady Ma’at, then please help me to revive the fires of my Will where my legendary stubbornness and unbrokenness are formed, and see this cancer out & away in record time. In the meantime, XV is putting the pressure on every morning, putting me through a meat-grinder of pain & depression that is becoming better armed to fight me as each day passes. I MAY smile and say “Namaste” all the way to my funeral pyre, but if that is going to be the case, I’d better be in a different interpretation of the illusion of reality than that in which I now reside. Let’s face it – pain & discomfort suck, as does the corresponding mental “dip” that drags you down with the physical feelings. Normally, I’m a real warrior about this stuff, and ferociously aggressive as well; my Will seems to be simply “sapped” this time, and I’m having a hard time summoning my own powers of fabulousness to fight the fucker. So for the moment, this card is more apt than I wish it were, I DO feel chained to the Physical by this malady, 
and I want it GONE, either medically, miraculously, or through the fires of cremation. “Arcanum XV: Passion in the act of emanating its potential effluvia. It is a symbol of the Mystery of the astral light in circulation encrypted in the letter Samekh. It represents the principle of individual will, the attractiveness of mystery, creative fire, destiny as efficient cause. Modeling attribute: Leo, abode of Neptune. In the Spiritual Plane it is the manifestation of the individual will, force refractory to the established order and principle that urges to unravel the mysteries. In the Mental Plane it represents the chain of passions, the force of desire, the constant controversy in which the spirit is agitated and drives us to look for the opposite. In the Physical Plane it tends to the processes of generation, the intense desires, the malice, the discord, the fear and the anger, the fire and the water that turns it off. Transcendent axiom: "They made me a keeper of vineyards, and my vineyard, which was mine, I did not keep." Prediction element, promises controversies, passions. Fatalities, prosperity via legality and of fatality, noxious affects to those who feel them and to whom they are the object of, vehement longings and violent situations.” (“La Cábala de Predicción” by J. Iglesias Janeiro; Kier, Buenos Aires, 1984.) Now, what the heck does THIS mean, my male current is represented by #48 Consummation?? “Arcane 48: Consuming as an act of plenitude. It symbolizes the human virtue of one's own conviction. Modeling attribute: It is associated with the planet Jupiter, the letter R and the number 3. It represents the principle of behavior determination. Transcendent Axiom: ‘You must the drop of your cistern or the rapids of your well' [I have no idea what this means and a search was fruitless. Obviously a South American Spanish saying or adage, but unclear.] As an element of prediction, promises achievements, science, victory, conclusions, resolutions, impossible loves, what is already irremediable.” Ugh - I cannot say I’m fond of that last qualifier, “irremediable.” And of course let us not 
forget yet another drop of Witch’s Piss in the soup today, the card I think lies straight from its face, #55 Contrition. If Pharaoh has just whipped your rebellious ass with his armies and brought you back to Egypt bound as a captive slave along with your livestock & goods, are you REALLY feeling “contrite”? Furious, ashamed, humiliated, frightened, depressed, all of those, yes, but “contrite?” You didn’t “just put a frog in Miss Godalkin’s desk, but you feel bad because you like her, too.” Nah – you may be utterly unmanned and humiliated as you kneel before victorious Pharaoh, but I would bet my bottom shekel that you DON’T feel Contrite. Why would I feel contrite now? As if I somehow I offended cancer and “was naughty” and now I’m “contrite” because cancer has struck back with a vengeance?? Bit my dick – I’m pissed off. On the other tentacle – there IS the oracular card, with its “you are receiving guidance. Follow your own path.” Okay, I’ll trust that, even though it IS kind of out of the blue as far as today’s reading goes – yet, it is the perfect way to defuse the sense of anger and victimhood and feel as if I can indeed “follow my own path” on how I deal with this from a magical perspective. We must wait today to hear from Her Doctoressness (I like her, Dr. Stephanie Faure) what “physical” treatments are in the realm of possibility. I ask the Cosmos to grant us ALL clear vision today. Be Well! Be Zen. Be Blessed!!  

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