Friday, March 30, 2018

Good Morning and Welcome! to The Fool’s Tarot for 31/03/2018; I am winding up with the same decks used all week, the *Egipcios Kier* and the *Labyrinth*, as you already know. It is rather an odd dénouement to the ‘Durm und Strang’ that’s been holding court in my Intellect and Emotions this week; while it is good to have some of the pressure off, that which remains leaves me scratching my three heads in bewilderment. Before we progress to the draw, I’ll update you . . . Yesterday, having waited two and a half days for the doctor to call me with the diagnosis & results of my batteries of tests, I ran out of Zen and called her office; first, the secretary couldn’t find me (who??) and then, when she did, it was to inform me that I had an appointment Friday, April 6th in the afternoon. I told her I was a bit upset NOT to have received the call – and I think I have a right to know, ASAP, if I am going to live or die! I don’t even know how big it is. She got squirrelly and promised to have the doctor call me, which said doctor did in about 45 seconds. Then the doctor “explained” to me that “this, that & the other, and the portal vein, you know, and blahblahyakyak. [I do not understand a lot of this] . . . but I can explain more fully when we see each other. We have decided that in this case the best treatment is going to be pharmacological; we’re going to give you a pill to take.” No Surgery? 
No Chemical injected tsunami washing through my system, bringing violent illness in its wake? No radiation sickness from high doses of “we’re going to kill you; not really, but the disease will think so, and you will wish it true, you’re going to feel so bad?” Alleluia. On the other tentacle, I’m willing to bet that whatever is in that pill is going to throw me for a truly vomitous crawl on the porcelain. On verra! Okay, enough of that shit, Onward and Upward! The draw for today is as follows: A) Guiding Arcanum = XX Resurrection; B) Male Current = #77 Confusion; C) Female current = #42 Preeminence; my oracular card for today is ‘Pleasure” – “Enjoy the pleasures of life. Respect yourself and others.” (A bit too close to “eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!” for my taste, but I’m trying not to lend any weight to that. Grin.) Okay . . . let’s take a look, eh, Mrs. Lovett?” (Grin) I suppose this morning I DO feel a bit like I’ve been “resurrected,” in a “kind-of, maybe, sort-of, a-bit-like” way and feel relieved and as if I have “pulled through” the first step. So, there was no panicked urgent call, no “we have to get you in NOW!” no “Hello, Mr. M - ? Please pack a bag and check in to the hospital by 5 p.m. today. I’ve scheduled surgery at 6 a.m. tomorrow. I’ll speak to you about it when you arrive.” As a matter of fact, it SEEMS to be a small enough cancer matter that my doctor wasn’t even pressed to tell me about it (a mistake on her part) and their hepatic committee has already decided I don’t need the BIG guns. “Arcanum XX: The Resurrection in the act of awakening spirituality. It is a symbol of mystery of the autonomy of each living being coded in the letter Resh. It represents the principle of what intellective, deliberation, opinion, decision; life as a succession of forms, and acts as succession of ideas. Modeling attribute:
 Capricorn, abode of Mars. In the Spiritual Plane it is the interior illumination, the awakening of latent forces, inspiration in act. In the Mental Plane it represents the revelation of genius, the stimulus to higher things, the conversion of the lower toward the superior. In the Physical Plane it tends to the processes that establish a harmonic correspondence between the subconscious and the conscience, between the moral and the material, between what we feel, we think and we work. Transcendent axiom: "Flower in the apple tree, fruit in the vineyard, sown in maturity". As an element of prediction, promises harmonic choices, successful initiatives, work, profit, compensations for the good and for the bad, faithful friends who annul the action of the treacherous friends . . . .” LOL, I must remark that this would have been a GREAT card in EITHER case; if the news had been “We hope you can get that rotting physical envelope into the hospital before you die! If anything falls off in the ambulance, keep it, we may need it.” GRIN. Either outcome leads to Resurrection, and that’s okay with me; at the very least, I am no longer in I-Don’t-Know-land. #77 Confusion – (laughing) I couldn’t have picked a better card for my masculine current than this one. I really DO have to laugh – you bet your sweet ass I’m a bit confused. Don’t misunderstand, please; I am delighted with the diagnosis; if it had to be cancer, I seem to have landed on the more hopeful side of the spectrum. But do I NOW actually know what is going on? NO, damn it; for that, I need to wait for my appointment this next Friday (6 days.) However, if the doctor isn’t in a rush to cut me open and play slice & dice, then I can be patient until Friday, I believe. “Arcanum 77: Disorientation as an act of retraining. It symbolizes the human virtue of recognize and reflect. Modeling attribute: It is associated with the planet Mercury, the letter T and the number 5. It represents the principle of association of ideas. Transcendental axiom: "Paths asks for the diligent foot, tools the laborious hand". As an element of prediction, it promises embarrassing situations, confusion in ideas, perplexity in decisions, unforeseen obstacles, odds of good and bad luck, according to one's own Inspiration, it inclines to one or the other.” (Ibid) And humorously enough, ending the procession for today 
is #42 Preeminence. (What should be first shall be last? Grin.) Either that, or Pharaoh there has decided to simply turn 180° and be the first instead of the last, in an act of auto-proclamation. Grin – I like that, it’s either cuckoo crazy or brazenly assured - Ha! “Arcanum #42: Preeminence as recognition of superiority. It symbolizes the virtue of human acceptance of the hierarchical order. Modeling attribute: It is associated with the planet Venus, the letter M and the number 6. It represents the principle of power and voluntary obedience. Transcendent axiom: "Principal in dignity, principal in power, be principal in merit." As an element of prediction, it promises advantages, triumphs, pomp, superiority, sincerity, surprising loves.” (Ibid) Well, perhaps . . . if I am near or at the head of that hierarchy! LOL! Grin. I do not accept a yoke lightly, not from anyone. I gladly acknowledge the Divine, but all other “you MUST respect this fat man” orders are open to derision and disposal. So, once again, on verra. I ask the Cosmos to grant us ALL a clean and clear love of Self (Amour-propre.) Be Well! Be Zen. Be Blessed!!

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